Friday, May 18, 2007

Urnining for the Playoffs

While we at down and distant have certainly been known to take a morally casual attitude toward loss of bladder control, it excites us to learn that one fan is taking this tried and true faux paus to a whole new level. "Bernie," a life-long fan of the Milwaukee*** Brewers, has promised to pee his pants if the Brewers make the playoffs - which, in and of itself, is a pretty cool move because, as we all know, "you ain't cool unless you pee your pants." Furthermore, he is inviting - via his website - other Brewer fans (or just plain old band-wagon pant wetters) to do the same. More pee-pee stuff here.

Down and distant is not only proud to endorse this righteous campaign, we have a few suggestions for fans of other teams and campaigns they might consider. With that in-mind, here's our list (yes - we like to include lists, periodically): Feel free to let fly with your own in the comment section.

Wichita State Shockers - "Give the shocker for WSU!"

Green Bay Packers - (this space intentionally left blank)

Findlay College Oilers - "Get oiled-up for the Big F!"

Oregon State Beavers - "Stuff those Beavers with Wieners!" Campaign sponsored by Weiner King, Mansfield, Ohio.

South Carolina Gamecocks - (this space intentionally left blank)

Columbus Clippers - "Groom your pubes for The Clippers!"

Washburn College Ichabods - "Do an icky bod for the Ichabods!"

No matter which team you follow, we invite you to put yourself out there and get in the spirit. We're not talking candle wax on the nipples or witchcraft or anything like that, but how 'bout a little commitment as you root, root, root for the home team?

**According to Alice Cooper, a regular visitor, Milwaukee has certainly had its share of visitors. French missionaries and explorers began visiting in the late 16th century. You might ask yourself, "isn't "Milwaukee" an Indian name?" In fact, it was originally an Algonquin term meaning "the good land." Alice also likes to point-out Milwaukee is the only American city to have elected elect three Socialist mayors (as of 1991).

Does this guy know how to party or what?


The Penalty Kill said...

Show your camel toe for the Camels - Connecticut College Camels

poon4life said...

"You stay classy Puget Sound Christian College." GO ANCHORMEN!

poon4life said...

Sorry, just found this one and I'm drunk. "Fuck the hell out of their man holes!" GO WAYLAND BAPTIST UNIVERSITY FLYING QUEENS!!!!