Thursday, March 1, 2007

The Inaugural LtCol. Bruce Crandall Honorary “Enormous Solid Steel Balls” Award.

Crandall's Huey at Ia Drang Valley - November 1965

This week President Bush awarded Bruce Crandall (Army LtC Ret) the Congressional Medal of Honor. The video below is a nice recap of the story by a local news station.

Crandall completed 22 flights in a 14-hour period on Nov. 14, 1965, most under intense enemy fire. His actions in the Battle at Ia Drang Valley were depicted in the 2002 movie "We Were Soldiers," adapted from the book "We Were Soldiers Once ... And Young."

So let me get this straight….Snake Crandall flew his Huey into extremely hot LZ X-ray bringing fresh men and supplies and taking out wounded not just once or twice. This iron-testicled one did it TWENTY-TWO times. He actually had to change aircraft twice as they were too jacked up from an unyielding hail of enemy fire.

For his bravery and selflessness Crandall was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor. (CMH) The highest honor a military man can receive. So revered that the highest ranking officer in the military will salute the Medal even it is occupying the chest of a lowly Private.

So it is for this man we name our Down and Distant Bruce “Snake” Crandall Honorary “Enormous Solid Steel Balls” Award. We will take it upon ourselves to bestow this honor on some sporting types. We know that there are likely a scant few in the world of sport whom are worthy of receiving an honor named for such a complete badass, but screw it. It’s our blog and we will do as we please, even if it is to make such a silly association as professional or collegiate sports to true heroism.

So on with the inaugural presentation. The Bruce “Snake” Crandall Honorary “Enormous Solid Steel Balls” Award goes The Ohio State University. tOSU is just about to cap off a basketball season as Big Ten Champions. Big deal? Well they did it last year too. Still not enough? How ‘bout that the football Buckeyes did it too. Two Years in a row. Big Ten haters will scoff, but hear this, ladies. Regardless of what you think of the conference, these teams spend their entire seasons kicking the shit out of each other. Coming out on top 2 years running in 2 1/2 sports is a pretty freakin’ amazing accomplishment. So suck it. (oh yeah, the Lady Buckeyes Basketball team won the conference 2 years straight too)

Congrats to you Ohio State. Please hold these “Enormous Solid Steel Balls”
NOTE: We will award the Enormous Balls periodically. Could be weekly, monthly or every 37 days. Pretty much whenever we feel like it. That's how we roll. Dig?


Iron Balls McGinty said...

What about me???

The Penalty Kill said...

Dear Iron Balls McGinty, I will give you $1.09 to keep quite about the whole thing. Deal? Also, here's some advice....Never trust whitey.

The Penalty Kill said...

quiet not quite! damn my stupid fingers.

poon81 said...

that was quiet a mistake you made. iron balls mcginty should stay quite.
they're things are over their, but there mad about it. you too should get two beating up each other to.

The Penalty Kill said...

Brilliantly Poonerific

Chomp Chomp said...

Win all the Big 11 championships you want Suckeyes. If you don't win the big one, who cares? ZING!