A Giant Faceful of Basketball Pickery - ep. 4

Dear Dear lovable Down and Distant reader. Holy Shit are you in for a treat. We’ve spared no expense to gather the entire cast of D&D for your basketball benefit. This is no easy task mind you. Because most of these creeps are very busy registering with their local authorities or doing something dirty while reading the JCPenney Catalog. So it is without further adieu that we bring the first installment of the Down and Distant NCAA Basketball Tournament Picking Extravaganza Love Fest. This will be five part deal, with each guy picking one regional, and Hopkins will have the enviable task of detailing the Final Four and Championship. I hope you are a fast reader. Because we are firing these bitches off fast and furious so try to keep up. Now Buckeye Savant with the Midwest.

Joakim Noah is not pretty

Just when you think we are damn near sports-free here at Down and Distant we go and do a full weeks worth of very sexy and sportsy entries about the NAACP Tourney. I get to tackle the Midwest.

First let me say that I freakin hate Florida. The state and the team. Joakim Noah looks like the offspring of the GIECO Caveman and someone even uglier. Also I think Billy Donovan probably wears Wonder Woman Underoos. Having said all that the Gators will go to the Final Four. Again. Shit.

The Silvery Lute Olsen and his Wildcats will take down the Boilermakers. Purdue isn't the same without Gene Keady's hair. Now that was a helmet.

Your annual 12 beating a 5 is in this bracket. And I am man enough to pick it. Old Dominion over Butler. Either way the winner in this match-up will take it in the nuggets in the next game against Maryland.

Hey Notre Dame – Suck it. You are going down against Winthrop. One and done with no love from Three Pointer Jesus.

Number 2 seed Wishconsin rolls past Texas A&M Corpus Christi (Really? Who’d they beat to get in the Dance?) only to receive a Las Vegas cornholing by UNLV. This makes a very interesting Sweet 16 match up with Oregon. Ducks prevail.

So now it is in Hop’s hands to take what we’ve given him and put two teams in the final and pick a winner. Hopefully he can take time away from trying to find new things to do with the vacuum cleaner hose and give us some good picks. Hop?