Thursday, April 19, 2007

It’s been a crappy week really

First of all some Korean ass-hat goes off on a killing spree like nobody has seen before. 32 people gunned down in cold blood because Cho Seung Hui didn’t like the rich kids he went to school with. Wildly deranged and fucked up, Cho recorded his manifesto and mailed it to the Today show of all places. “Thanks to you I die, like Jesus Christ.” Oh that’s right, I remember from all those summers at Vacation Bible Camp that Jesus did go running through Jerusalem double fisting Glocks mowing down innocent people and then blowing his own face off. Now playing the part of the Son of God, Tony Montana. For what it's worth, we here at DaD wish the best to those whose lives were effected by this lunatic.

Secondly in this week from hell. Probably not as weighty as the above tragedy, but Sanjaya Malakar got voted off American Idol. Sanjaya had the voice of an angel, hair which will be studied and copied in cosmetology classes for decades and a sister with ginormous jugs. (well at least the sister part is true.)

Lastly. I’m not as funny, punny or quick as Poon. I know. I know. I was shocked to learn it myself. I was informed by long time Down and Distant retard reader John who took time away from putting salt on his asshole and hanging out at petting zoos to let me know that Poon is better at this stuff than yours truly. Well, shit. Granted, Poon is a certified bad-ass. He’s certified in Judo (the gay kind), generally has good hygiene (the gay kind) and all of a sudden just discovered that he is left handed (again, gay). Poon also makes fun of minorities and the disabled. Just saying. The gauntlet has been thrown. I vow to strive for comedic heights that I’ve hitherto never dreamed of, just so the Syracuse Syphilis Slinger, John can eat his words and finally have something in his mouth besides Poon’s ass. Not bitter, just sayin.

poon at last year's "Judo, Mustache and Rainbow" Parade

Oh yeah, Mavericks in 5. Sports



Anonymous said...

Poon hasn't even contributed yet but I know his will be better.

Blog Critic Weekly said...

Word. He's better even if he never posts. PK is so unfunny, like a fire in a church during a puppy's funeral.

poon4life said...

Would it be funny if the dog only has three legs and that big cone thing around his head and the fire was actually gas spraying from the shower heads and it was in a synagogue? Just asking.

Anonymous said...

see, I told you he was funnier