Saturday, April 21, 2007

Tennis and Tumors.....What a Weekend.

I'm not going to call anyone out on this, but one of our loyal retards needs to get this fucking thing checked out. I'm not for sure whether he is waiting for it to fall off during the night or if he just keeps it there for his wife's pleasure. Either way, it's probably not a good thing to keep around.
As PK proclaimed in his "State of the Distant Address", we are changing our direction and are also going to give more effort to this deal. In all honesty, we want more money so we can move our headquarters to Victory Park and finally get out of this shitty $7 million dollar office building.
Maybe some of our readers can help me out on something that was brought to my attention the other day. No, I know that sucking dick is not gay unless you say I love you. Thanks though. But I thought that the term tennis shoes was a world standard. You know other than the fact that in Italian it would be scarpa de tennis. I think some other countries are still not on board with speaking english, but I'm not sure. I was corrected the other night when I found out that some people use "sneakers" instead of tennis shoes. Maybe it's a southern thing and the yankees that were trying to correct me are just a bunch of "eh" saying and Heineken drinking dick wads. But who's judging. For a little clarification, I thought that I would call my good friend John McEnroe to see if he had any input.
D&D - Hey, John. Thanks for helping me out on this.

John -

D&D - So how are things going?

John - IF YOU DON'T PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF THAT FUCKHOLE YOU CALL AN ASS I'LL SHOVE THIS TENNIS RACKET UP YOUR DICK! Pretty good. The kids are getting big, you should come down and see them sometime. I'm sure they miss uncle -insert real name here-.

D&D - I know. It's been forever. It takes alot of time running close to a billion dollar empire. Well, I have a real question for you. I know you were born overseas, but do you say tennis shoes or sneakers?

John - I SWEAR TO JESUS ALMIGHTY THAT I COULD GRAB YOU OFF OF THAT CHAIR RIGHT NOW AND AND LAY AN ASS WHIPPIN ON YOU THAT YOUR MOTHER WOULD BE JEALOUS OF. Hmmm. Never really thought about it, but I say tennis shoes. Probably because I play tennis. You know, now that I think of it, I don't know anyone that says sneakers. That's probably not a whole lot of help, but that's all I got.

D&D - No, that was helpful. Just wanted a little input from someone else. Well, I gotta go ass bang your daughter before she is completely unconscoius from the roofie-colada I shoved down her throat.

John - What?

D&D - Huh?

John - Eat Shit.

Well, that was rude for him to hang up on me. Well, there you have it. I will send out an e-vite for the world leaders to now use tennis shoes and only tennis shoes when referring to sneakers from here on out.



Anonymous said...

This yankee says tennis shoes. I'm not sure i've ever really said sneakers. Tennis shoes just sounds more right.

The Penalty Kill said...

Here are a few more names for the shoe "Tenny Runners", "Sneaks," "LPC's"(Leather Personnel Carriers), And my favorite, "smack me in the ass and call me suzie." errr. uh never mind.