Wednesday, January 24, 2007

For The Love of God, Why Pluto?

Driving home in the quicksand I call the Dallas Tollway, I was thinking of how I could turn this craphole Super Bowl into something enjoyable to watch. Well, since the 'ol JC himself let me down, I decided that drinking heavily will probably help. I know Peyton "my brother looks like a piece of broccoli" Manning is looking for a SB title, and that would solidify his place in the HOF. Or would it?......
I started really pondering that and I came across a startling fact that could mean that no matter how important he is to football, he might not get in. Remember Pluto? Yeah, the "Pizzas" in the sentence on how to remember all the planet's names.
My (Mercury)
Very (Venus)
Exceptional (Earth)
Mother (Mars)
Just (Jupiter)
Sent (Saturn)
Us (Uranus) ha
Nine (Neptune)
Pizzas (Pluto)
What the hell are we supposed to do now? Maybe keep everything and just change the Neptune one to Neosporin? Nyquil? Non-Alcoholic Beverages? Dear Jesus, where does it end? You can't just play around with the equilibrium of the universe like that. I mean, I love Uranus and I can't get enough of it, but where does it really end? (Don't act like you didn't see it coming) Maybe it's never good enough for NASA, but Pluto will always be number one in my heart and number two will always be for Uranus. (ok, that's the last one)
So I ask, no, beg of you my humble followers, take this into consideration when criticizing Peyton "I look like one of those trees that talk and throw apples in of the Wizard of OZ" Manning. He may get through his career and never win the big one, but don't let that be enough to make him your Pluto. He's definitely Uranus.



The Penalty Kill said...

NASA is planning a mission to explore mining possibilities on Uranus.

dreamingtree said...

That's some funny shiznit! hahaha