MY GIRLFRIEND GOT IT ON WITH CYNDI LAUPER

OK - so Ms. Savant and I attended last night's Super Gayfest True Colors concert (featuring The Dresden Dolls, Deborah Harry, Cyndi Lauper, and Erasure). After quaffing a few adult beverages just prior, we were getting our groove on - she with all sorts of jentastic dance moves and I with the traditional white man's over-bite. I did, however, still manage to display my oh face, as well.

So we're rocking-out with my cock out in our really good row one stage-side seats and all of a sudden Cyndi Lauper decides to come over to our section to sing for a few minutes. So she runs past us and Ms. Savant gives her a 1/2 second high-five (in a very tender, but somehow sexually suggestive way). While it's cool and fun to talk about, I was like "what's up with that? Which team are you playing for?" It was loud and crazy so I doubt she heard me - or if she did, she simply acted with cool indifference. Hurting inside, I remained undeterred and committed to having some fun. So I turn-around and notice Cyndi is now dancing on the wall in front of our seats - probably a good 3 1/2 feet away. Whether or not it was the newly located spotlight and the related pressure of knowing everyone was looking in my vicinity, I'll never know - but I suddenly felt the need to bust out some serious dance moves. I felt I owed it to Cyndi - despite her thinly veiled attempt to steal my girlfriend.

After a good 90 seconds of Cyndi's dulcet vocals screaming, she heads back to the stage, but not before Ms. Savant gives her the double-handed arm grab as she passed -by. It was almost as if everything was in slow-motion…I was in jealous boyfriend hell wearing asbestos long johns! Horrified, sickened, and somewhat turned-on, I couldn't help but notice the gentle caress of two women discovering each other for the second time. They almost exchanged knowing glances, which was nearly followed by the quickened pulse that might have happened and imaginary - yet close to real - anxious anticipation for the next time. Cyndi practically undressed her with her eyes…that is if she had been looking at her. I'm damn certain she would have gotten around to it, too - were it not for the concert and all.

I know what you're thinking. I should feel excited and thankful to have a girlfriend open to experimentation (yes - she bop), which could possibly lead to backstage passes and better seats next time. But until you've gone through the pain, heartache and downright public embarrassment of watching your newly-bi girlfriend fall for the charms of a big-time rock star (Elvis has got nothing on Cyndi Lauper), you just don't know.

I can't write anymore right now. I think I died a little inside last night…

Buckeye SSSSSSavant signing off bitches.

P.S. Scored a beej from an Erasure roadie named Fritz last night. An update will follow my self-imposed mourning/blackout period