Arkansas Civil War reenactors don't play fair. Hicks! Dear Santa,
We've always had a pretty good relationship...I still believe in you and I never lost faith through the "virginity years" or the dark days known as the John Cooper Era of Ohio State football. Eventually, I got some regular justice and the Bucks won another national championship - so it's all good.
Recently, I have tried my gosh-darn best to be good...well, apart from the sexual deviance, drinking to excess, and jokes about ethnic minorities or handicapped people (are they still considered people?). [Ed. They're super!]
Anyway, let's cut to the chase, what I really, really want this year is a victory over Arkansas for my Buckeyes in the Sugar Bowl. You see Santa, if we don't beat down the red-neck, inbred, stinky, Southerners once in a while, they might forget who won the War...and we really can't have that now, can we?
Jim Tressel has been good...he's a God-fearing, military supporting, leader of fine young men at The Ohio State University...and, by golly, he deserves a Sugar Bowl win for his team!!
In order to keep it fair, I promise to put-out a nice bottle of Bourbon for you this year - along with some hash browns (that aren't made from potatoes), and just for good measure, a couple copies of Leg Show and Shaved Orientals (which I borrowed from PK). Feel free to enjoy, but don't take them with you ...and I wouldn't go shining any black lights around them.
I am not asking for too much...let's just say Buckeyes 30 Razorbacks 21.
...and Santa, I'll owe you one!!
Merry Christmas!
Buckeye Savant
We've always had a pretty good relationship...I still believe in you and I never lost faith through the "virginity years" or the dark days known as the John Cooper Era of Ohio State football. Eventually, I got some regular justice and the Bucks won another national championship - so it's all good.
Recently, I have tried my gosh-darn best to be good...well, apart from the sexual deviance, drinking to excess, and jokes about ethnic minorities or handicapped people (are they still considered people?). [Ed. They're super!]
Anyway, let's cut to the chase, what I really, really want this year is a victory over Arkansas for my Buckeyes in the Sugar Bowl. You see Santa, if we don't beat down the red-neck, inbred, stinky, Southerners once in a while, they might forget who won the War...and we really can't have that now, can we?
Jim Tressel has been good...he's a God-fearing, military supporting, leader of fine young men at The Ohio State University...and, by golly, he deserves a Sugar Bowl win for his team!!
In order to keep it fair, I promise to put-out a nice bottle of Bourbon for you this year - along with some hash browns (that aren't made from potatoes), and just for good measure, a couple copies of Leg Show and Shaved Orientals (which I borrowed from PK). Feel free to enjoy, but don't take them with you ...and I wouldn't go shining any black lights around them.
I am not asking for too much...let's just say Buckeyes 30 Razorbacks 21.
...and Santa, I'll owe you one!!
Merry Christmas!
Buckeye Savant
![[Ed. They're super!]](http://www.erichufschmid.net/Dumb-down/super-retard.JPG){kind=link}
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