We sat there watching nervously
As the teams were slowly picked.
I am getting tired of Lou Holtz
And those other dickless pricks.
"First game is USC and Illinois"
They triumphantly announced.
"I hate those Goddamn fags" I said
"I hope their ass gets pounced!"
The Hooters waitress said I was drunk
And my beer would soon be cut.
I shot her the middle finger
And then threw up on her pregnant gut.
"Are you kidding me for the late game?"
Hawaii and Georgia were the teams.
"I don't give two shits if you haven't lost
And the Bulldogs? Nigga pleeeze!"
Since drinking in Mesquite for years
I've picked up on M-town schemes.
You don't drive down Lawson after dark
And Nigga you just don't scream.
"Oklahoma and WVU are next"
Some random TV black man said.
At that point I was promptly struck
A Nigga had hit me in the head.
I tried so hard to see the teams
Of which the bowl games would show.
I caught VaTech and Kansas
In the midst of the black man's blows.
I assume he suddenly got tired
Since the pummeling had stopped.
I got back on my barstool
And another top I popped.
Would we really do it?
Would the Buckeyes go again?
"The championship game is Ohio State/LSU"
"FUCKIN' A WE'RE IN!!!"
Today there were talks of playoffs
And the hatred of the BCS.
Mizzou got the hose, I'll say
So did some of the rest.
There were some that were left out
And for them, I feel some shame.
But fuck 'em all I'M A BUCKEYE
AND WE'RE GOING TO THE GAME!!!!