Sunday, September 20, 2009

How the NFL Ruined Football......and My Life

No pictures and no funny asshole not because we are not funny, because this is a serious post this week. Ok, we really aren't very funny and by this week I mean the second post this year. I'm such an overachiever.
Week three of college ball and week two of pro ball is almost in the books and what a season we have so far. I don't want to drone on about upsets, injuries or who you should start in your fantasy leagues mainly because I don't know and I'm not educated enough to form complete sentences about any of those topics. I do want to talk about something that I finally witnessed today that will ruin pro football for me.
Cable, satellite and U-verse users (AT&T plug. If you haven't already, please check it out and see if it's available in your area. welcome to the NFL RedZone channel. Yeah, the fucking NFL RedZone channel. Don't have NFL Sunday Ticket with DirecTV? No worries, this takes the place of all of the shitty parts of all of the games and lets you get to the meat of the games. Basically, the RedZone channel will cut to every game that is in the (guesses?........) RedZone. Hence the name dumbass. I expect more out of you. Couldn't even guess that right. Sounds great? Can't wait to get your remote next week to check it out? Not so fast young one.....
Pro's and Con's:
Pro - You can see every touchdown that is scored each week. They actually state that. That's fucking impressive. What happens if two games score at the same time? They will cut back and forth to let you see every significant play.
Con - You completely get sucked into this channel. I had two games on this morning, both good matchups and what did I do? I watched this channel through most of the day. I missed who knows how many great other plays that I would get a boner about. Big hits? Missed it. Did I see that 4th down stand? Nope, but I did see that insignificant 2 yard touchdown run.
Pro - It's in HD. HELL YEAH BITCHES!!! HD. Crystal clear picture for every game that is going on. I couldn't ask for more.
Con - What happens when there are no games in the redzone? Well, apparently they choose one of two options. They will switch to either game that I have locally playing like I can't already fucking see that, or they will switch to any game that includes a team that will in no means on God's green earth reach the playoffs.
Pro - Did I mention HD? Ok. Did you miss something during the day? Between 6 and 630 CST, they will replay all of the days touchdowns. Nicely done. Sometimes SportsCenter doesn't show exactly what I wanted out of some games and you have that covered. Well done sir.
Con - Not a ton of player stats. If you are looking for a recap of player stats for your fantasy leagues, this is not your place to be. Do like I did and have your laptop going with two windows open. One has Yahoo live streaming going and the other has ESPN live gamecast going. Loser. (looking into the mirror) WHY DON'T YOU PUT YOUR WHORE LIPSTICK ON YOU FILTHY WHORE! YEAH YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A DIRTY WHORE!

Overall what do I think? Why they hell can't you make a decision on your own? Get it or request it and check it out for yourself. Bitch.

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