Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Predictions for 2008

In NO danger of drowning

OK - so Poon finally posted something breaking our "silent period." Although we had plenty of our usual below-average and sophomoric material, we thought a brief reprieve from our witty banter would make you (the reader) appreciate our stuff more. OK - just plain appreciate our stuff. Anyway, now that it's back on (like Donkey Kong), Savant dons his scarlet and gray turban and reveals a peek into the next 10 or so months.


SPORTS
Bad news for Buckeye haters! Savant sees his Buckeyes making yet another trip to the BCS Championship Game - only this time, they actually beat an SEC team. It's going to suck to be a Georgia Bulldog in January 2009 as Ohio State will defeat the Dawgs 30-20 in the FedEx BCS Championship. The Vest will secure his 6th - and Ohio State's 8th - National Championship. To prepare for the trip to South Beach, Savant has already started manscaping, waxing, and bleaching as he wants a clean workspace for the Buckeyes tattoo. In addition, Tim Tebow will win a 2nd Heisman so he'll have one for each of his hot girlfriend's terrific breasts.

College Basketball will crown a brand new 1st Time Champ…the Tennessee Volunteers. Rocky Top will be sung in San Antonio (site of UT's loss to the Buckeyes in 2007, by the way) at the Bruce Pearl Jam - aka 2008 Final Four.


Savant sees the loaded Detroit Tigers making a strong push for the World Series Title, but not enough to overcome the New York Mets. Despite a monumental collapse down the stretch last year, the addition of Santana (from the Twins) makes the Mets a strong contender for best team in New York and he likes them over the Tigers 4-3 in The Series.


NFL…whatever, Savant thinks the Patriots will be back just to piss-off everyone (including himself). Pats over Cowboys in the Super Bowl.

CELEBRITY LIFE
Britney Spears, in a desperate attempt to stay in the spotlight, poses naked (unfortunately) for Plumpers magazine.


Led Zeppelin reunites for a sweet-ass North American Tour. d&d staff sell the website to pay for a couple ducets leaving readers to recall - with great fondness - the good old days of posts from PK and Poon and that idiot guy Savant.

After a couple of d&d brand roofies, Posh Spice sleeps with most of the staff while attending the website's VIP Party (husband David has his way with Hairy Carray, when, in haste, Hairy takes the roofies himself). Good times.

Mrs. PK becomes marketing director for Babe's Cabaret in New Orleans after coining the slogan "come on in...and ruin your political career…don't cost nothin'!"

ASS-TROLOGY
If you're a/an (insert sign here), then you'll be - pick one: getting laid/masturbating - more in 2008…and don't be afraid of trying a little ass play this year. Porkchop U swears by it.

Savant sends his best wishes for a happy non-shitty and healthy disease-fee 2008.

War Auld Lang Syne (albeit 7 weeks late).

Savant Out, Bitches.

2 comments:

Editor, Jugs Magazine said...

Hey - do you guys have tebow's girlfriend's phone number or e-mail address?

Anonymous said...

800-Fun-Bags. airbags@holyshithowdoesshestandup.org/godalmighty.edu