Friday, May 11, 2012

Damn I'm High

10,000 feet in the air and listening to Bush makes me think of nothing else than my fellow hooligans at D&D. We have been slacking on not only the podcast but on the website as a whole. What do you suggest we do? Shut it down? Make more of an effort? Let's take a few questions from our readers.

Q. Hey why don't you faggots try loading Tuesday or Die on Tuesday instead of Wednesday or never. By the way has the new issue of Coal Miner Weekly come in yet?

A. There are certain logistics that come along with launching a worldwide phenomenon podcast like we have. There have been technical issues with the RSS feed as well as scheduling conflicts. If you dicks would pay us for this then we could dedicate more time to entertaining you. Oh and what the hell is Coal Miner Weekly? We do have the new issues of Cold Minor Weekly but The Pickled Mick isn't done "warming them up".

Q. Have any of you ever realized that all of your names start with "P"?

A. Yes. They also end with a silent "get a fucking life".

Q. My girlfriend is thinking that she wants to move our relationship to the next level and I don't know if I'm ready. What should I do?

A. Not sure how this helps us but here we go. Unless she is talking about moving her apartment to a higher floor, bail. If you are unsure now then you know damn well you're just trying to hold out for a better piece than you have in front of you. If she is thinking about moving to a higher floor, then approve and keep on rolling sir. She decorates better than you and her place is cleaner anyways. Believe me I know.

Q. Will you ever write anything relevant to sports or anything funny like when you guys had "The Penalty Kill" and "A Day in the Life Of"?

A. Holy shit why do you remember those sites? No and please stop glaring at me through my window.

Q. You know I've been inside of your mom?

A. At this point I just assume yes. Who hasn't?

Q. Ever thought about it?

A. Yes.

Q. If you recorded a podcast in the air and your plane went down right now, would anyone hear it?

A. To both accounts no. Although I am pleased hearing us banter about nonsense, I assume I am in the minority. And where I am I the air, only the havalena between El Paso and Midland would hear the boom.

Q. Can't you guys just die and let me have my time on the twitter feed back?

A. Oh! Thanks for being a follower of @downanddistant. Keep on not responding and we will keep giving you the nothing you deserve.

Q. Three part question. PK - hange or fooje? Poon - will you ever stop being a whore? Pickled Mick - will you ever write another article?

A. Christ keep the gloves up. Answers. Depends on if giving or receiving.....either way fooje. No if your mom or your mouth have anything to do with it. Depends on if I get any support on this f-ing thing. Can't carry these guys on my own.

Q. Andy Kaufman, Drew Carey, Larry David. Marry one, kill one, f one. GO!

A. You are demented. Marry Carey, kill Kaufman (he isn't dead btw), f David.

Thanks for your submissions. Leave any additional questions in the comments or on twitter @downanddistant, #danddquestion.

Fuck these airplane pretzels,


1 comment:

PK said...

ends "with a silent "get a fucking life"." Now that's funny.

/chair spins and loose leaf notebook paper flitters through air.