Hear My Sports Confession

Forgive me Sports Father -

I think I might have sinned. Or in the process of sinning. I'm not talking about the other 6 tabs that I have open in my browser, either. Overlook the fact that I'm not wearing pants.

I used to maintain football was my favorite sport. All time. I played it, I lived it, I have football cards that never saw the spoke of a bicycle. These days, I don't get jazzed up for football season like I used to. Hell, there were three Cowboy games that I didn't even watch this year. Now that it's over, I miss it, sure. And as fall approaches, I will look forward to it, but it's not like it used to be.

I know what some of you will say: "He's champion chasing, just like all those other Dallas ass-hats". To that I say, nay, sir... Nay. Basketball season didn't start until December this year and I didn't miss it. Though I don't mind basketball, you won't find me buying tickets (but I will go if anyone has extras).

Hockey has never really been on my radar. I do like to see live games, but can't think of the last game I watched on TV.

No, baseball is where it is at. I am looking forward to sitting in my game chair, shirtless, with Dorito crumbs in my chest hair. I am looking forward to living and dying with each pitch, each win and loss. I look forward to bitching about how long spring training is and wondering why we can't just "get on with it". I'm even debating starting a Twitter account to do just that so I can beat you into submission on two social fronts.

Now that my sins are off my chest, I feel better. Don't worry, Cowboys, Stars, Mavericks, and Sidekicks, I still love you all. As a life-long resident, all of my favorite teams have always have had "Texas" or "Dallas" in front of them (exception: OU).

If you will excuse me, I have to put on some Broken Wings by Mr. Mister, force myself to cry, and comfort myself. By "comfort myself", I mean abuse myself. By "abuse myself", I mean play a little 5 on 1. By "play a little 5 on 1", I mean slam the spam. By "slam the spam", I mean... Screw it, I've finished already.

Thank you for reading, human-heads.

Yours in Christ,

TPM

Hunched Over and Sweating

Happy Saturday you little shit-fuckers! As much as I love each and every one of you, I sincerely hope that you are spending this glorious day being productive and enjoying time with your loved ones. Actually, I hope you are hungover and spray-shitting your newly cleaned toilet in between beers.

Whitney Houston is being laid to rest today which for me is bittersweet. Bitter because I don't think that I'm in her will although we had that fling back in 1987. Sweet because I know she is in a better place than her normal bathroom stall knee-high into cocaine and meth. Godspeed Whitney.

Of all of the famous Whitney's that I know, I suppose I wanted her to die the least. Why can't Whitney Cummings have a coke problem? Why doesn't Bobby Brown stop producing makeup and start beating her ass? I mean have you seen her show.......her standup...........a picture............ever heard her name? Irrelevant. She sucks. If I had to choose between watching her TV show or the Reba show there is no doubt in my mind that I would immediately throw a brick at my TV and use the shards of glass to cut off my dick and choke myself to death with it. That actually doesn't sound all that bad honestly.

Don't judge me.

Blow it in my face,

Poon

Live tweeting from Plano SB bash. Open Grey Goose bar? God save the children....and the mobile port-a-potties.

Why Are You Reading This?

Seriously. It's Christmas Day, there is finally basketball on and you should be at least half drunk at this point. I am, but only from remnants of last nights ordeal with Mr. and Ms. PK as I am at the house of the Christian portion of my family. Joy. My only goal is to be able to post this without using the work fuck since it is Christmas.........well shit. That doesn't count.

Those of you that know me (ME not Poon.....me) know that it has been a trying year overall and I look forward to what 2012 brings. This particular time of year is a little more difficult than I had planned, but I have such an amazing supporting cast in this that it makes it more than bearable. Over the past 18 hours or so I saw and heard many things I didn't plan on hearing this year. From a church full of people that said in chorus "ass" to a discussion about if I still believed in Santa. SPOILER ALERT!!!! I do. Not necessarily the fat man that repels down my chimney causing damage that will for sure lower the value of my house, but the spirit. PK shared his habit of randomly paying for someone's coffee at Starbuck's from time to time (probably the best looking guy he can find. zing.) and that a few years ago he was driving through to get his coffee and it was already paid for. That kind of shit. You don't ask Santa to cure your cancer or murder Aaron Rodgers so you can win your fantasy league (unless he wants to. just saying) you ask for nothing and you realize when you get even the smallest things. That's Santa.

Christmas is a time for joy, being with family, eating bad food and drinking to forget how much debt you just went in so your child can play in a cardboard box of the $600 car you bought. If you know me, you know that I can be somewhat of an emotional person. I see someone cry, I get choked up. Seeing a friend of mine cry this morning after getting a well deserved present almost made me lose it. The only thing that kept me from balling was the fact that PK would have called me a pussy for the rest of my life. That's the shit that Christmas is for.

Whatever you are doing and wherever you are, make the best of today. Do something that someone doesn't expect or maybe even deserve. I'm giving my grandmother an upper decker. You're welcome. This for sure isn't the best post on here, but who are you to judge? I mean we post every few months so enjoy it while you can.

Merry Christmas

Cordially,
Poon




fuck

Greatest GIF Ever

Some of you may have seen this already, but this is seriously one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life.

Click link for the greatest GIF ever made.

GREATEST GIF EVER

Carry on....

Be Thankful For Everything

So its been a while since anyone has done anything worth a shit on this website and this intends to be no different. During Thanksgiving I take some time every year to reflect on what I am really thankful for. Although the list is short and probably doesn't make sense to most, understand that it is from the heart.

Family - Those that really know me also know my fucked up family situation and how it really burdens me during the holidays. I can look back and say that I deserved different and how I would love to see what I would turn into with the perfect scenario, but overall I do have some sort of support system and that is what matters. More than anything I am thankful for my grandfather that passed away all too soon, but made the biggest impact on my life and is by far the best person I have had the privileged of knowing.

Wretched Cunt of an Ex-Girlfriend - Why am I thankful for her? Without going through the details, I wouldn't be the person that I am without the bull shit that she put me through. The only regret I have is that I let it go on for so long. Eat a dick slut. And yes I do mean it this time. Oh and the fact that I don't get to see my dog anymore makes you a fucking horrible person that I hope gets what is coming to you. Bitch.

My Large Feet - Think about it..........

HD Channels - Although my grandmother hasn't bought into the "fad", I am thankful that I don't have to watch shitty SD anymore. Have you even tried it lately? It's like looking at TV through frosted glass while someone is punching you in the eyeball. Fuck.

LA Fitness - Although I never go, it does give me a gym membership to put on my keys so it looks like I give a shit about my health.

Apple - For giving me a reason to look like I'm working in a meeting while I am checking Twitter and playing Angry Birds on my iPad.

Last, but not least......Friends - without them I wouldn't be the person that I am today and without me, they wouldn't have a punching bag. If you don't have a solid stable of friends, then I suggest you do so ASAP.

I hope everyone enjoys this time and remember to appreciate what you have even if it's not necessarily what you want.

Poon

Testing......

Is this still active? Is anybody out there?
Aw who the fuck cares. I'll talk about the same thing even if no one is there to hear me.

With that said........I want Shannon Sharpe to do my into to AA speech. That is all.

Taint.

Were coming back......soon. No. Fucking. Kidding.

Poon

Location:Lorraine Ave,Dallas,United States