Super Sexy Brackety Updates

Savant fills out his bracket, at the same time predicts

the Tet Offensive, The Rodney King beating and that

Paul McCartney will marry and divorce a one-legged chick.

With the looming specter that is the MPorkChopU pickaging of the Final Four, I thought it prudent to slap a little update across your mulleted dome. For the first time in a while or ever or something all the seats at the Final Four table are filled with number 1 seeds. I’m not going to steal any of MPCU’s thunder but it looks like a match up of No. 1s in the final is pretty freakin likely. Which is nice.

Anyhoo. How’d the rest of the d&d do on their pickery? Cristal and Caviar? Or a dirty rotten Boston Cream Pie. Well I got to tell you we ROCKED IT. Seriously, I’ve never seen such pickilation.

Take my portion of the bracket for instance. I had the unenviable task of trying to finger out just how Georgetown was going to go down early to Davidson. I nailed it. 100% Bitches! Check it out here for yourself if you don’t believe me. See I told you. Don’t fuck with PK!

The other boys kicked the same amount of ass as I did. To a man – 100%. I wish we’d gone to Vegas with this shit. Dick Vitale, can suck it.

Savant with greatness
Poon with perfection
And HC with pure genius

Tomorrow – MporkChopU will open up the third story window in his corner office and speaketh more truth to you peons.

Until then.

PK out.

SITE UPDATE: The links above seem to be malfunctioning. Try this one.

More Expert Pickery

Detroit

Photo courtesy of the cover of the

Detroit Chamber of Commerce 2007 Annual Report

I get to pick the Midwest regional, which culminates with games in Detriot. Blech. This bracket picking is always a little dicey for me. Here’s how my pickage usually goes. I start by selecting the winners in the first round with complete disregard to whom I think might eventually win the region. Most non-morons might go the other way and pick the region winner first and then work backwards. Not this moron.

So I can wind up at with a Sweet 16 match up of perennial powers like Cal State Fullerton and UMBC (whoever the fuck that is. Merchant Marine Academy or something?)

So it’s no wonder why I continually suck complete ass at this, in spite of my earlier boasting. You should know by now not to believe everything you read. But because you are reading this here blog, you may not be the brightest bulb anyway. I digress.

Here’s how the Midwest will go. I hope you haven’t filled out your bracket yet, because this shit it going to be gold this year. Bank. On. It.

The "win one and done" crew in the Midwest will consist of the following.
Kent State – Insert 70’s protest joke here.
Siena - I got nothun for you on this. Never heard of 'em
UNLV – Danny Ganz told they ain't got it.
GTown – I know! I'm crazy like this.

The regional final:
It’s Tourney underdog and holder of the dream Davidson, who offs Georgetown in the 16, facing Kansas coming off a win over Nova. I’ve got Kansas advancing to the Final Four in a thriller over the Mighty Mite Davidson. And by thriller I mean something really close at the end with Davidson having a chance to win at the buzzer. Say 59 -57. ish.

Take it to the bank. However if I’m wrong, don’t forget that I have the keys to d&d and can come in here and edit this like crazy. Don’t think I won’t do it.

Tomorrow, Poon.

PK Out

You really need to stop masturbating.

We've been great stewards of the company time lately. Really keeping the nose to the grindstone. Not buying it? Don't blame you. What we've actually be doing is adding alternate punchlines to the old joke. A guy goes to the doctor, and the doctor says "You really need to stop masturbating" the guys says "Why?" And the doctor says because you are freaking out the other people in the waiting room." Here are some of the ones we've come up. Please stop masturbating and add your own in the comment section, Jag Off!

You really need to stop masturbating.

Why?

Because you are distracting JonBenet from her dance practice.
Because you chipped one of my teeth with your class ring.
Because Grandpa needs his colostomy bag back.
Because the microwave timer went off - your baby is done.
Because the cripple needs to shut her mouth to chew.
Because there are kids waiting to sit on Santa's lap, too!!

Listn, yu hve gt stop mstrbatng!......

Why?

bcuz i cnt type wit both thums up yur ass


Because Professor Hawking’s hair is getting matted.
Because you have to lock up the Gimp before Zed gets back.
Because, Coach Kryziewski, the TV time-out is just about over.
Because, the clown suit is a rental.
Because you’ve filled all the doughnuts.

You really need to stop masturbating.

Why?

Because the coroner is due back from lunch soon.
That’s NOT your penis!
Because I’m trying to fasten your seat belt, Captain Lerdon.
Because I’ll never be able to trust the cottage cheese again.
Because your cigarette is about to light your SpongeBob pillowcase on fire.
Because this is not considered an appropriate best-man speech.

You really need to stop masturbating.

Why?

Because Kaptain Kangaroo says you are creeping out the Dancing Bear.
Because, Holy Father, the Pope-mobile is see-through.
MOM!
Because we're going to have to squeegee-off the boy's bubble again.

Because my grandmother hasn't worn those panties in 6 years.

Now your turn, McFisty