Things That Make Me Go “Hmmmmm”

Maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but I need to get a few things off my chest. Every time I turn on the idiot box, open a paper, or browse through some shitty magazine while waiting for a high school drop out with terminal acne to ring up my groceries, I see pictures of the twosome being marketed as America’s new sweethearts, David Beckham and his tart of a cum-dumpster wife, Posh Spice. This douche bag is being hailed as a “savior”, an “ambassador”, and a “pioneer”. What sport does Beckham play—oh, that’s right—soccer—communist kickball. Give me a break! Look at these pictures:















OK. They are nice pictures. I’ll give them that. But he still plays fuckin’ soccer.

On another note, THE Ohio State University announced the hiring of their new president, E Gordon Gee(k), this past week.

Gee’s first move was to replace athletic director Gene Smith with a younger administrator who he hopes will connect with the student athletes:


Finally, the University of Michigan (U-SCUM) has unveiled a monument to head football coach Lloyd Carr commemorating his role in elevating the OSU-Michigan game to its status as a rivalry:

Colorado: More Than Just Kobe and Columbine

Some states end up getting their names in the papers for all the wrong reasons. In my mind Colorado is one of them. Skiing? Sure. Lloyd Christmas looking for Mary Samsonite Swanson in “Asspin, CO” I remember that. Kobe laying pipe on some white bitch that had multiple jizz stains in her underoos? Ah, that’s the ticket!

Maybe I am in a small percentage of people that are like that. I remember the most screwed up things about random states. I should remember Kordell Stewart chunking the leather-wrapped watermelon 64 yards to Michael Westbrook to squeak past Michigan. Or should I remember John “I can throw a baseball from home plate over the left field fence” Elway finally getting over the hump and winning back-to-back Super Bowls.

What about when the Denver Nuggets…………changed their logo? Hmmm…that’s a tough one. Considering that they have retired 5 numbers in their history which are…

Alex English (2)

David Thompson (33)

Byron Beck (40)

Dan Issel (44)

Doug Moe (432)

No, I’m not drunk. He had #432 retired. Ok, I might be drunk. It is after 4 here. The reason he had 432 retired is because it is the number of regular season wins he had in Denver. I’m not trying to bag on AE or anything, but Denver is just begging for someone to come in there and do something for God’s sake.

I will say that the Rockies are still somewhat new so I can’t say too much bad stuff about them. They did have an all-star game there and who can resist Andres Galarraga? Hockey up there is kind of a given since they live in snow all year. (That’s what we think at least in Texas. Hey, you think we all ride horses and shit so shut it.)

Give Colorado a chance. Don’t just remember South Park or Pete Coors. Open yourself up to new sports horizons from our little box of the west.

Haha……box.

Poon