This
Plus this
Equals this
Last week the Cruise family got a much needed shot in the arm. In a highly appreciated show of support, talented and extremely important actress and fellow Scientologist Jenna Elfman said that Tom, Katie and Suri are happy and healthy and that their family life is none of our beeswax.
I was sure that Tom needed that shot in the arm. His public image has taken a real beating over the last few years. Crazy rants, furniture jumping, kidnapping a young hot actress and turning her brain in to Cream of Wheat. Etc.
I used my powerful connections and called Tom Cruise, just to hear first hand how he and the fam are doing.
PK: Tommy! It’s PK, How you doing beeeeeyotch.
Tom: Beeeeeeep…Whirrrr….ZZZZZZZZZ…click….click.
PK: Uh, Hello? Tom.
Tom: Feeewwssllllllasssdkfiioooonnn…Buzzzzzzzzzz.
PK: Hello?
Tom: Press F2 for boot log …..Brooke Shields is a whore.
PK: Seriously Tom, You OK?
Tom: Purple Nikes…..Comets…..Spaceships……Kelly Preston has great boobies….
PK: Ok, you are creeping me out more than usual. I’m gonna cut you loose, K?
Tom: Beep.
We’ll that didn’t go very well. We can try again later.
I was sure that Tom needed that shot in the arm. His public image has taken a real beating over the last few years. Crazy rants, furniture jumping, kidnapping a young hot actress and turning her brain in to Cream of Wheat. Etc.
I used my powerful connections and called Tom Cruise, just to hear first hand how he and the fam are doing.
PK: Tommy! It’s PK, How you doing beeeeeyotch.
Tom: Beeeeeeep…Whirrrr….ZZZZZZZZZ…click….click.
PK: Uh, Hello? Tom.
Tom: Feeewwssllllllasssdkfiioooonnn…Buzzzzzzzzzz.
PK: Hello?
Tom: Press F2 for boot log …..Brooke Shields is a whore.
PK: Seriously Tom, You OK?
Tom: Purple Nikes…..Comets…..Spaceships……Kelly Preston has great boobies….
PK: Ok, you are creeping me out more than usual. I’m gonna cut you loose, K?
Tom: Beep.
We’ll that didn’t go very well. We can try again later.
